FAITHFUL FRIENDS - Part 2

DAVID AND JONATHAN - BONDED FRIENDS

Obviously there are different levels of friendship. Last week's blog brought two unlikely friends to our attention as we looked at Ruth and Naomi. We all have casual friends; neighbors, co-workers, classmates, and people we attend church with. We know their names, a little bit about them, we shake hands, wave, chat here and there. We would identify them as "friends". Then there are close friends; people we feel comfortable around . . . we enjoy being with them, we may visit in each others' homes, go to sports games, go out to eat together. We can call on close friends when we have a need and we know they'll be there for us. But, then there is the deepest level of friendship that I call "BONDED" FRIENDS. A bonded friendship is a deep, unspoken connection built on mutual trust, loyalty, and deep understanding, going beyond casual acquaintance or closer relationship, to form a strong and chosen bond where individuals offer unwavering support and encouragement through shared, blended experiences, vulnerability, and acceptance of flaws or disagreements, even through distance or difficulty. It is characterized by emotional ties, shared life-values, and a sense of belonging that makes for feeling safe and secure. We thus have a unique bond in which we probably even think alike. We truly enjoy being together and the things we talk about usually have quite a personal dimension. We can be totally honest, transparent and vulnerable with one another. There are very few secrets. We know that whatever is shared with them STAYS with them and vice-versa.

Bonded friends are extremely rare, aren't they? If we have two or three bonded friends in a life-time, we're blessed! The Old Testament (of the Bible) characters David and Jonathan provide an excellent example of bonded friendship. In this blog, let's examine the unique relationship between these two outstanding young men. As we do, we will learn some lessons from them about develop-ing and maintaining bonded friendships. We find their deep friendship recorded in Chapters 18 through 22 of First Samuel. ". . .the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself. Jonathan stripped himself of the (royal) robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword and his bow and his belt" (I Samuel 18:1-4). Again we read "that Jonathan said to David, '. . .we have sworn (made a covenant) to each other in the name of the LORD, that The LORD will be between me and you, and between my descendants and your descendants forever' " (I Samuel 20:42). What a deep and bonded friendship we see in this passage of Scripture! Let's further consider some powerful truths relating to this unique friendship!

First, A BONDED FRIENDSHIP DEVELOPS! We would be advised that Jonathan and David had very little in common. Jonathan was King Saul's son, the prince next in line to occupy the throne in Israel. David was a mere sheep-herder, who watched over and protected his father's sheep. Shepherds were viewed as nomadic, rural, lower-class people compared to other, more sophesticated people. There are at least three reasons David and Jonathan developed their deep friendship. One reason was that David was often invited to the palace to play his harp. While tending sheep, David had probably learned to play music to help keep the sheep calm. So, David and Jonathan most likely spent time together when David was at the palace. A second factor that contributed to the development of their relationship was that they shared certain traits and characteristics. They both demonstrated courageous and adventuresome temperaments. In First Samuel, Chapter 17, we read that David killed the warrior, giant Goliath, with just a sling and a stone. In the 14th Chapter of I Samuel, it is revealed that Jonathan was responsible for killing a number of Philistines and thus caused Israel's enemies to flee rather than to fight. A third reason they developed a bonded friendship is that both of them had a very deep and personal FAITH IN GOD! They knew their God and placed their faith in Him! Here is the first lesson we get in this account: BONDED FRIENDSHIPS TAKE TIME AND SHARED VALUES TO DEVELOP. This kind of relationship cannot be "rushed". Some people are so eager for a deep friendship that they try to force it too fast on casual or close friends. And so it is possible to discourage and drive people away because a bonded friendship is sought too quickly. Perhaps insecurity plays a part here. Deeper friendships take time to develop; they can't be forced, but happen naturally.

Second, A BONDED FRIENDSHIP MAY BE OPPOSED BY OTHERS! - Chapter 18 of First Samuel. Since Jonathan was the King's son and heir to the throne, we would think it likely that he would be jealous or resentful of David. But he was not! David had become a national hero.

". . . when David returned from killing the Philistine (Giant), . . .the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing. . .saying, 'Saul has slain his thousands, And David his ten thousands"

(I Samuel 18:6-7). "Then Saul became very angry, for this saying displeased him; and he said, 'They have ascribed to David ten thousands, but to me they have ascribed thousands. Now, what more can he have but the kingdom?' Saul looked at David with jealousy and suspicion from that day on" (I Samuel 18:8-9). So Saul sought to kill David, but God was with David and watched over him (I Samuel 18:14-16). Jonathan was David's number one advocate and loyal friend! He stood up for David and defended him repeatedly to his own father, King Saul, who tried to convince Jonathan that David was trying to take over the kingdom. "Then Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, 'Do not let the king sin against his servant David, since he has not sinned against you. . .For he took his life in his hands and struck the Philistine, and the LORD brought about a great deliverance for all Israel; you saw it and rejoiced' " (I Samuel 19:4-5). A second lesson to take to heart is this, BONDED FRIENDS STAND UP FOR THEIR FRIENDS, AND THEY HAVE "EACH OTHER'S BACK"! A true friend will never "cut you down" or gossip about you. That friend defends you and remains loyal to you even at the risk of ridicule or criticism for doing so. And a bonded friend supports you even when you are not present.

Third, A BONDED FRIENDSHIP IS OFTEN TESTED! On one night, King Saul sent government troops to invade David's house to kill him (I Samuel 19:11). David told Jonathan about Saul's action. Our tendency may be to believe the best in people we love and care about, so much that we might be naive about them and their schemes. When Jonathan heard David's report, he said to David,

"Whatever you say, I will do for you" (I Samuel 20:4). A third lesson for us to be aware of is, A BONDED FRIEND ALWAYS TELLS THE TRUTH EVEN THOUGH IT MAY BE UNPLEASANT! They tell each other the truth even when it hurts deeply. The Scripture tells us, "Better is open rebuke, Than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy" (Proverbs 27:5-6).

Fourth, A BONDED FRIENDSHIP PREVAILS! Early in their relationship Jonathan and David had devised a plan to combat Saul's evil desire to kill David. Their plan worked then and for the nearly ten years David lived as a fugitive, repeatedly escaping Saul's continued attempts to kill him. Jonathan was faithful in assisting in David's safety and giving him encouragement throughout those years. "And Jonathan. . .arose and went to David at Horesh and encouraged him in God. He said to David, 'Do not be afraid, because the hand of Saul my father will not find you, and you will be king over Israel. . . ." (I Samuel 23:16-18). Here's the final lesson to be learned from this genuine and deep friendship, BONDED FRIENDS KEEP THEIR PROMISES EVEN THOUGH IT IS COSTLY! Sometime later both Saul and Jonathan died in battle. And David kept his promise to care for Jonathan's family (Second Samuel 9:13). A godly friend keeps his promises even when it is very difficult and not convenient. "But who honors those who fear the LORD; he swears (makes promises) to his own hurt and does not change" (Psalm 15:4).

If you are fortunate to have a bonded friendship like the one described above, GUARD IT CAREFULLY and remember it is a two-way relationship (not all about you)! However, let's recognize that as a true follower of Jesus Christ, you and I have the perfect bonded friend. In fact, Jesus Himself called His followers His friends, "No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all I have heard from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:15) This saying of Jesus highlights a deeper relationship where believers in Jesus are privy to God's will, plan, purpose, and actions, moving beyond mere servitude to a bonded friendship with Him! Jesus also said, "you are my friends if you do what I command you" (John 15:14), linking deep friendship to love for Him and obedience to His commands. Proverbs reminds us that "a friend loves at all times" (Chapter 17, verse 17). It is absolutely true that a bonded friendship with Jesus takes time to grow - we need to be in His Word, in prayer and in loyal devotion as He is loyal to us! Our relationhip with Jesus will be tested, for sure. The devil is not asleep or absent; he and his demons are actively throwing darts of temptation, doubt, anger discouragement, bitterness, jealousy, self-interest and compromise our way to test how bonded our friendship with Jesus really is.

One of the truths declared in Scripture that showed the integrity of Jesus is that HE ALWAYS KEPT HIS PROMISES! An example is that Jesus promised He would "seek and save those who were lost (in sin)" (Luke 19:10). He finds us, just like He did Zaccheus, even though we've been corrupted by sin and have little to contribute to Him. He died on the Cross to take our place and the death we deserve. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13).

Jesus laid down His life for us! Friend, Jesus paid the price of His own blood to make you His friend and adopt you into His family! What you and I need to do is receive His salvation - His free gift to you and me!