FAITHFUL FRIENDS - Part 4

PAUL AND BARNABAS - DISAGREEING FRIENDS

Most of us, at one time or another, have earnestly desired to have someone we could call a good friend. Good friendships are a gift from God! He knows that our lives find fuller meaning when we know and are known in return, when we love and are loved in return.

However, deep friendships can be bruised and battered due to disagreements. Disagreements can be over politics, religion, Christian faith, athletics, jobs or careers, money and investments, the Bible or theology, neighborhood disputes, church doctrines or practices and even family relation-ships. Feelings can be hurt, egos damaged, misunderstandings develop, or a bond can be broken. Beginning in the latter part of Acts, Chapter nine, we'll look for insights about the friendship of The Apostle Paul and a faithful disciple of Jesus named Barnabas. It was a friendship that began rather unusually, grew strong, but then experienced a heated disagreement. Let's consider five very important facets of friendship as revealed in the relatIonship between Paul and Barnabas.

First, FRIENDSHIP MEANS SOMEONE MUST TAKE THE INITIATIVE! - Acts 9:26 Let's take a closer look at the background to their friendship. Saul, before his name change to Paul, was a devout and loyal Pharisee who despised the name of Jesus and gave his all in trying to destroy all those who followed Him. Then, one day while on his way to Damascus, Jesus Christ got Saul's attention by

striking him with total blindness. When Saul hit the ground, he had a vision and heard a voice say-

ing "Saul, why are you persecuting Me?" And Saul replied, "Who are you, Lord?" Then the Lord said, "I am Jesus whom you are persecuting, but get up and go into the city and you will be told what you must do" (Acts 9:1-6). God had His man in Damascus named Ananias. Through him, Saul received his sight, immediately became a true follower of Jesus and was baptized! He preached in the city Synagogue that Jesus is the Son of God.

Then (Saul) now Paul wanted to be a part of the newly born Church of Jesus Christ, and to join the disciples of Jesus all still gathered in Jerusalem. But because of Saul's horrific reputation of having the followers of Jesus imprisoned and even killed, he encountered stiff and unapologetic resistance from Christ's followers. We read, ". . .he was trying to associate with the disciples; but they were all afraid of him; not believing that he was a disciple" (Acts 9:26). But Barnabas, truly

befriended Paul when no one else would. "But Barnabas took hold of him and brought him to the (disciples) apostles and described to them how he had seen the Lord on the road. . . ." (Acts 9:27). Barnabas was a man filled with the Holy Spirit, a man of integrity, gracious, trust-worthy, loyal and unselfish. Also, he was a true friend. "But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). Many times the first step towards a significant friendship is to just take that first step; be an initiator. Lots of times people feel like Paul did. They want to join the group, but see the group as a click and feel like a total outsider. Rather than pushing their way in, they remain isolated.

A thought here - instead of waiting on a potential Barnabas to come to us, maybe we need to BE a Barnabas to someone else who indeed may be hoping for a friend. The best way to have a friend is to BE A FRIEND!

Second, FRIENDSHIP MEANS ACTING THOUGHTFULLY! - Acts 9:25-26. Many people were giving their lives to Jesus in the Church At Antioch. When the leaders of the Church In Jerusalem heard about this, they sent Barnabas to assist in the ministry there in Antioch. He urged the new disciples to "remain true to the Lord" (Acts 11:23). Barnabas remembered his friend Paul and his amazing growth "in the WAY." So he went to Tarsus to find Paul and brought him to Antioch where they ministered together to the church for an entire year. Barnabas, the older in The Faith and Paul the newer were partners in ministry and service for Christ! What an expression of true friendship! Both men acted thoughtfully; they put others' needs before their own. Seeking to bring joy to others' lives is one of the ways to define friendship. This truth was exemplified by Barnabas and Paul.

Third, FRIENDSHIP BRINGS PARTNERSHIP - Acts, Chapter 13. We read about these two friends partnering together to build up the Church spiritually and numerically. Chapter 13 in The Book of Acts records the very FIRST MISSIONARY JOURNEY OF THE CHURCH - Barnabas and Paul were the first missionaries! It must be noted here that these two men were spoken of in the Bible as Barnabas and Paul five times in Acts, chapters 9-12, and then in Chapter 13, it was Paul and Barnabas. Barnabas took a "back seat" and rejoiced for Paul's success and leadership. Barnabas

"decreased" so Paul could "increase." Paul became the prominent leader, while Barnabas was truly supportive! As we've noted in the other three blogs in this series, this kind of friendship is rare! Both Paul and Barnabas were secure in their faith in Jesus, and in their relationship with each other.

They weren't threatened by each other's ministry, leadership or success; in fact they Celebrated it1

There is no question that over the years Paul and Barnabas had formed an extraordinary and significant friendship! They had traveled all over. They had experienced great victories together as they preached from city to city. They had narrowly escaped death together. They had been the best of partners in ministry, serving Jesus together.

Fourth, FRIENDS CAN HAVE DISAGREEMENTS! - Acts 15:37-41. Then the time came when Paul and Barnabas disagreed sharply with each other. On their First Missionary Venture, they had taken a young man named John Mark as their assistant/helper in ministry. During one of the most difficult parts of that journey, John Mark quit and went home. We aren't told why he went home, but we can assume Paul and Barnabas missed his presence and his work. For the rest of that trip, Paul and Barnabas were probably "short-handed" as well as disappointed that the young man had not "stuck" with the hardships involved in spreading the Good News of Jesus.

Later, back in Jerusalem, Paul and Barnabas began planning their Second Missionary Journey to visit the churches established during their first trip. As they were laying out their plans, they had a serious disagreement. We read of it, "Barnabas wanted to take John Mark again with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them. . .and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took John Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left. . . strengthening the churches. . . ." (Acts 15:37-41).

Fifth, FRIENDSHIP MEANS DEALING CONSTRUCTIVELY WITH DISAGREEMENTS! - Acts 15:39-40. In any significant friendship, we can EXPECT disagreements. Though we should anticipate having occasional disagreements with our friends, we must be careful that we don't treat them lightly; those disagreements can be sharp, contentious, and even may be detrimental to the relationship. Proverbs 17:9 means that if one will not let a disagreement go, but refers to it often, it separates the friends. So, how should we deal constructively with disagreements endangering friendship?

1) When we face disagreements, we need to express ourselves WITH WISDOM rather than with emotions (James 1:19-20).

2) When we experience disagreements, as followers of Jesus we must express ourselves WITH GOD'S LOVE rather than with our anger! Jesus said, "By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:35). This is "agape" love; divine, unconditional love that only comes to us from God.

3) Do not allow resentfulness and bitterness to come into our mind and inner spirit.

4) Seek resolution to disagreements quickly! (Matthew 5:25).

5) Follow Biblical Principles in conflict resolution (Matthew 18:15-17).

6) EXALT JESUS with and because of the outcome. Seek to resolve disagreements in the way that honors and glorifies Jesus as LORD!

7) Resolve disagreements to the extent that ministries go on and are not curtailed. Paul and Barnabas "agreed to disagree!" Instead of ONE Missionary Journey, TWO trips for Jesus, were taken as a result of disagreement, to build up His Church!

Note this fact! Ten years later Paul publicly extended and showed forgiveness to John Mark as he truly declared that John Mark is a valuable partner in ministry (II Timothy 4:11).

It is very possible that you and I may need to admit and confess that we have been mistaken, and perhaps sinned, and need to resolve a conflict with a friend. We may indeed need to extend forgiveness! The resolution to most disagreements and/or offenses require humility, patience and understanding from everyone involved. As Scripture says, "You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, God forgave you, so you must forgive others" (Colossians 3:13).